Shouldn't, Couldn't, Must
by AngelicAngel79
Summary: What happens when big bad Eric Northman meets somebody who totally flips his world?  And can this someone keep his interest or will they, like everyone else in his long life, become tedious and predictable?  AH/OOC Please review, reviews inspire the muse!


No copyright infringement intended, just playing with Charlaine Harris' toys.

AH/OOC

Reviews are most definitely welcomed, if you have something bad to say, please use constructive criticism.

**Shouldn't, Couldn't…Must!**

**Prologue**

I knew I shouldn't be out, but, I didn't really have a say in anything I did. I hadn't had a say since I was a child and even then, it was a tenuous hold on controlling things…for instance, I refused to eat certain foods. And at the ripe old age of four, I rebelled against all who would demand I eat something I didn't like.

My parent's way of dealing with me was to simply force me to sit at the table, no playing allowed or anything else until the veggie of the moment was eaten. I guess, even my parents didn't know me very well, even then, seeing as how, I would rather sit there in silence, than be forced to spend time with my siblings...but that there is a whole other story.

So here I was, stuck on this corner, freezing my ass off, even though there wasn't much to freeze off, skinny isn't something that people equate with me, malnourished, emaciated…that is more honest, but, it isn't like many people actually speak to me. I have a job to do, one I didn't choose but did nonetheless.

Before I left the apartment, Shiva, (it isn't her real name, but she swears it is) plastered my body and face with enough makeup to overtake an entire cosmetics company. Of course if she hadn't, I'd be doing nothing but freezing out here and possibly even draw unwanted attention.

Sure May was, is, a decent time of year, but for me, and the numerous health issues I have, even mild weather left me chilled to the bone. Being, stick thin as Shiva likes to grumble, has left me lacking in a lot of things. My skin is pale, almost translucent, in my opinion, it looks somewhat yellow, my eyes are dull, but perhaps that is more emotional than physical.

It was nearing midnight and I was still walking back and forth on that stupid street corner. I was hungry, but not. I couldn't remember the last time I ate anything, but Tom said and I quote, "No one wants a fatty". It had been the same thing he had said over and over, since I came to…work for him.

The worst part was, if I didn't get my shit together and make some money tonight, I was likely to take an even worse beating than I did two weeks ago. And it all happened because of the stupid job. I get the depo-shot when I needed it, of course, Tom, doesn't allow us to have information on much, so no one bothered to mention, that being on antibiotics and whatnot could screw with it. Of course, as a back up, every John wears protection, but, I guess that one time, nothing worked.

It would have been fine, if the guy wasn't a complete asshole, but, I'm pretty sure, this guy would give the Devil a run for his money, in the nasty, controlling, insufferable department. Within two weeks of finding out and then doing something I totally didn't agree or believe in, I went and had an abortion. I was pretty out of it, the first day was hard, but that second day, as I was laying there, the nurse kept offering silly platitudes, "Everything will be fine…" "This is for the best…" "Shhh, sweetie, it's almost over…" I don't remember much after I was knocked out, except just before I lost the battle, I managed to whisper, "this is a mistake, please stop." They didn't listen… After I woke up, they gave me information about after care and seeing my gynecologist in ten days…to make sure, nothing went horribly wrong. In my opinion, something already went horribly wrong.

When I finally made it "Home" Tom laid into me. The fucker found out where I went and lost his shit. He didn't touch, at least not to begin with; he gave me to Mr. Donaldson, all I have to say, that man has made torturing people into an art form. He'd hit hard enough to bruise and hurt like a son of a bitch, but he didn't break anything. I guess that's a small favor, but really, I knew in the back of my head, it was all about keeping Tom happy and the money coming in. When he dropped me off, Tom took his few licks too, again, making sure to never break anything or even kill me. Aren't I lucky! Thankfully I passed out for a little while, but when I woke up, I was able to check myself out and I was covered with enough bruises you couldn't actually discern my real skin color. The bruises were healing now, but they were still slightly purplish and a sickening yellow color.

Plastering a smile on my face, I ran across the road and entered "Midnight Desires", since the beating, my bladder was even smaller than before or so it seemed to me.

I slapped a five on the bar ordered a coke and quickly darted to the bathroom. I knew how it worked here; you couldn't use the bathroom if you didn't order.

I was waiting in line for the bathroom. Numerous other women were standing there as well. All well dressed and talking like old friends. I hated this part, being around so many other, "normal" people and knowing I didn't belong. Instead of acknowledging any of the women, I turned my attention to the stairs.

He came down those stairs like he owned the place. It was a surreal moment, but I felt it throughout my entire being. It was like the beginning of a really good buzz, where you have drank enough and your entire body feels light and free, your mind isn't cluttered with all the daily garbage. He was, for lack of a better word, stunning. He was the type of man that poets and artists wrote and painted about, that is, until you looked at his eyes. His eyes looked as dead as mine.

I knew this night was not going to end well, but I needed to make a little money, and hoped, that just maybe, he would be willing to help…it was a long shot, but it was the only one I seemed to have.

Shoring up my courage, I walked over to him. If I was like all the other women, girls, I would have sashayed, made my hips sway a little extra, added a flirty smile or even batted my eyelashes, but alas, I am not like everyone else. I didn't choose this profession, it was forced upon me. So I did what I could and prayed it would be enough.

"Hey there stranger…" I don't know what else I was going to say, but the moment those few words passed my lips, he grabbed my wrist and half dragged, half led me back up the stairs he had descended moments earlier.

My natural inclination was to be scared, but for some unfathomable reason, I wasn't scared in the least. His touch was damn near electrifying, I could feel it throughout my entire body, and yet, the longer he touched me, the deeper it delved, or so it seemed.

The second door on the left was the one he pulled me through, I thought for a second that this was way to easy, but, all thoughts left as soon as the door closed firmly behind me.

His lips crashed on to mine, they were rough and demanding, yet held gentleness I couldn't equate with his stature.

His work worn hands were as demanding as his lips, but they too were softer than anyone had ever touched me with. My mind was thinking of all these things in mere seconds, and did not distract at all. In fact, I was shocked, because I was responding to his touches and kisses.

My shirt and skirt landed on the floor almost simultaneously. I don't know how he managed it, but had to give him props for being so dexterous. He didn't give me the chance to try and remove his clothes, no sooner had my items hit the floor than his followed.

I chanced a look into his eyes; it was a mistake, the emptiness, the glaze, broke my heart. This beautiful man shouldn't be in this much pain…

My thoughts were quickly railroaded as I felt the bed against my back and no sooner did that register than he was on me, in me. It was quick and dare I say, passionate. I had never felt anything like it before. It stole my breath and left me dazed.

We lay, side by side for a few moments, trying to catch our breath and then he spoke.

"Shower?"

I didn't know if it was a question or a demand, but unable to ask for fear of angering him, I just nodded my head. Whether it was a question or a demand, his voice would forever haunt me, of that, I was absolutely positive.

He grabbed my hand and led the way. Within a few moments, the water was pouring from the shower head and the room was beginning to steam. He looked at me for a moment and then hit the light switch, bathing the room in darkness. I felt his hand in mine squeeze slightly as he pulled me into the waiting warmth.

The water felt heavenly on my battered body. And the darkness, even with someone else right there beside me, just felt right, almost as if I should always bath and or shower like this. It had nothing to do with him, but the water cascading over my body, the lack of light; it offered me a slight escape. It shocked me that he showered in darkness; then again, maybe he just didn't want to see me. Whatever, in the end, it really wouldn't matter.

In the shower, he took me again. It wasn't until the water ran cold that we both reached completion. On the bed he took me four more times throughout the night and early morning. By then, sheer exhaustion had overtaken and I slipped into a deep sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

My head was killing me and my body felt…used. Cracking an eye open and finally taking in my surroundings, I was greeted with a warm body wrapped tightly around me, and flaxen blonde hair tickling my neck and chest.

'What the fuck', I thought to myself. Trying desperately to remember the night and coming up blank. Looking at the woman in my arms, I had a brief panic attack, the parts of her I could see, that weren't covered by either me or covers, were mottled with bruises. It took a few moments to realize they weren't fresh, so obviously, I hadn't hurt her, but someone had.

Brushing some tendrils of hair from her face, I saw the same coloring there too. This woman, girl, had obviously been beat. Was she even legal age? I wanted answers, but waking the beauty lying next to me didn't seem right. Even if her face wasn't a patchwork of bruises, I could tell she needed to sleep. The dark circles under her eyes were a dead give away.

I carefully extricated myself from her and threw on the first thing I could find. Leaving the room and heading down to the owners office. Hoping the old drunk was still in his office, or if nothing else, hoping he had passed out in there again.

I knocked on door and didn't bother waiting for any response, instead, opening it and walking in. He was sitting behind his desk, nursing a glass of bourbon. I swear the guy never stopped drinking, unless he was asleep.

"What the hell happened last night?" I asked without preamble.

"Huh?"

"Don't start this shit already, what happened last night, it is obvious you know something, so you might as well spill it now. Otherwise, you won't like the consequences."

I could see he was contemplating not answering me, but after a rather long pause, he sighed and said, "You were doing what you usually do…playing pool and drinking beers…Some high fluting woman bought a beer, and about five minutes later, showed up over by the pool table, you took it…played a few games with her, you took her to your room, don't even ask me what went on, because I don't know, twenty minutes later she came back down bitching and moaning and left, then…I don't have a clue."

It felt like he was leaving something out, but, for the time being, I'd take what he said with a grain of salt.

"What about the other woman I picked up?"

"What woman?"

"She's tiny, 5'5 or so, long blonde hair…"

"You mean the hooker?"

"Excuse me?" Sure, I realized I wasn't making full sentences and explaining things, but, really, how could that little thing be a…

"She comes in once a week, if that is we are talking about the same girl. Looks like she isn't old enough to buy a drink let alone drink it, has these blue eyes that look just about dead, but, when she looks at you, you swear she's seeing into your soul?"

I didn't bother to say anything, instead, turned on my heel and walked out of the office. I'm not a coward, but I actually contemplated walking right out of Midnight and never coming back. My reputation was walking a fine line, and staying in this little hole in the wall town was beginning to look like a bad idea.

I took the stairs three at a time, suddenly in a hurry to get back to her.

Just as I rounded the corner, I could see the door to my…room, was partially open and a loud voice emanating from within, and it was definitely male.

Anger, like nothing I had ever felt before, suddenly bubbled up to the forefront of my mind and consumed me. I couldn't hear everything that was being said, but the resounding smack echoed clearly and his accompanying words. "You bitch!"

Unable, unwilling to hold back, I burst into the room, the door rebounded off the wall and hit my shoulder with a dull 'thwack".

I knew this idiot, had warned him before, Lucas, even thinking his name made me want to shower with bleach.

The woman was still in my bed and still just as naked as I had left her earlier. The only new thing was the already darkening stain on her face. Obviously this moron had hit her.

He looked at me once, grimaced, and then turned back to her. "Tom told you to be back at home, no later than dawn, what the hell do you think you are doing."

I wanted to strangle the little prick but I couldn't help waiting, I wanted to hear what she had to say. I wouldn't let her be hit again, but I wanted to know what the hell I had got myself involved in. Besides, this was definitely not the norm. Normally my life was full of repetition, the same thing, day in and day out.

She didn't even raise her head, didn't even acknowledge his presence, just sat there, with the sheet pulled tightly to her neck. The only sign that I could discern that she heard him, was the faint shaking of her hands and the death grip she had on said sheet.

I saw Lucas move forward, his hand already moving towards her. It took me but a moment, but I caught his wrist and pulled. Using barely any strength, the coward sprawled on the floor. I took one menacing step towards him, and the little freak shriveled before me. He was a big man when inflicting emotional and physical abuse on women, but, be forced to deal with someone of his own gender or size…true, not his own species, but, no one ever said the world was fair.

"Get out, and don't you ever, EVER come back here again. Don't show your face in this bar again, or you will deal with me, GOT it?"

The cretin didn't say a single thing, just turned tail and ran. Every instinct I had was demanding that I follow him, but, and what a huge but it was, I couldn't leave her. Those eyes of hers, there was nothing behind them, not fear or love, life or even something as simple as confusion…no, I couldn't leave, even though I was, am, so far out of my depth here.

I am Eric Fucking Northman, and I don't dally with humans. Nevertheless, for some unimaginable reason, this little thing, had somehow, in some way, captured my attention. Maybe the monotony of this long existence could be shaken up, if nothing else, I felt a long lost emotion, I felt hope. Hope that the tedium would end.

XXXXXXXXX


End file.
